How To Screen for Good Relationships

Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward. – {The Adventist Home 45.2}

How do we know if the person we want to marry will contribute to a happy marriage? What is the screening process that we should use to weed out potential bad eggs? God wants us to be happy, especially when married, and we can use these three questions to help us evaluate our love interests:

  • Will this union help me heavenward?

If I spend significant time with this person, will the influence of their life and the things they do leave me better off? Do they take stands on principle? The road to heaven is narrow and rocky. Are they a Christian for the long haul?

  • Will it increase my love for God?

Will I be able to better understand who God is through their actions? Will I think, “Wow, that is so something that Jesus would have done,” when they do something unselfish, or will I always have to guard against selfish prickles? Will this person be growing as a Christian and be able to share what they are learning, so that I can grow as well?

  • Will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?

Does this person share the core goal of reaching heaven, and being a missionary until we get there? If they call themselves a Christian but lack the missionary spirit, at some point self-preservation will turn them into a roadblock for service for Christ.

Ultimately our happiness depends upon living a converted Christian life of love to God and unselfish service to others. It makes sense that if someone’s not on board with that there are going to be problems. But the problems are deeper than two people not being congruent. Really, only in the heart of God can we find pure happiness, peace, and joy. We need to get those gifts individually from Him before we can give them to someone else.

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