Attitude Sets Altitude in Relationships

As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets the newly wedded pair, the romance with which imagination so often invests marriage disappears. Husband and wife learn each other’s character as it was impossible to learn it in their previous association. This is a most critical period in their experience. The happiness and usefulness of their whole future life depend upon their taking a right course now. Often they discern in each other unsuspected weaknesses and defects; but the hearts that love has united will discern excellencies also heretofore unknown. Let all seek to discover the excellencies rather than the defects. Often it is our own attitude, the atmosphere that surrounds ourselves, which determines what will be revealed to us in another. – {The Adventist Home 105.3}

Proverbs 10:12 – Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.

I think it’s a truth in life that we humans underestimate the difficulty of an endeavor. Everyone who starts a business finds it was harder than they thought. Those who train for an athletic goal find that it takes focused effort to reach their goal. It’s like that in relationships, too. After the initial emotional zing of meeting someone, emotions, by their nature, don’t last forever, and we need to decide to make a commitment to a relationship.

I think there’s another law of humanity at play here, too. I think it’s the work and difficulties that bind people together the closest. Think about soldiers who fight together. They share a closeness that can be hard to understand. It is because of the battles they’ve fought and risks they’ve faced together. They understand in a way no one else can.

I want to have the attitude, the mental perspective that will bind me closer in my marriage. Sometimes I tremble because of my own weakness in relationships in general, but I pray that God will put his love in me. I want to find the excellencies rather than the defects.

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