Just read a good blog article called “Marriage Isn’t For You” by Seth Adam Smith.
Check it out. Here’s a teaser:
Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?
Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
I hate to spoil the punchline of the article because the title is such a great bait and switch (which I don’t think really takes anyone by surprise). But I will. I guess I don’t hate it that much.
It shouldn’t surprise us that most of the people of the opposite sex aren’t a match for ourselves. Really, if I were to say it’s 1 in 5, we would probably all say that was too large of a number. So we put a lot of effort into figuring out what type of person we would like to be with. What are their values? Am I attracted? How do the personalities match up? Is there a spark? Can we actually hold a conversation? Do I want this person raising my kids?
This can take so much of our time and effort as we’re looking for the person that matches up with us, that sometimes a return to a different perspective of the nature of relationships can be a bit of a jolt to the system.
1 Corinthians 13: 5 – Love … does not seek its own.
…. Oh right. Yeah, that.
It’s totally legitimate to spend a good amount of time searching for someone who is a match. It’s better to weed out the mismatches before the wedding, right?
But it’s important to keep in perspective that love gives. Would you be good for the other person? Can you make them happy? Can you survive if the relationship requires you to be the one doing the majority giving for a while?
This requires quite a bit of maturity, doesn’t it? Maturity and grace. Grace and not looking for the other person to be your source of love, but rather a target of love. Keep God as your source of love and strength. God’s always happy to give love to us. We get it from Him and give it to others. That way a lack of love from another person doesn’t spoil our own.
Here’s to love, maturity, giving, and a marriage between and for two people.