If the young man makes a wise choice, he may have one to stand by his side who will bear to the utmost of her ability her share of the burdens of life, who will ennoble and refine him, and make him happy in her love. {The Adventist Home p 109.2}

Proverbs 31:26 – She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

The most important thing for me in the search for a match is finding someone I can communicate great with.  I mean, if we have our whole lives to spend together, conversation needs to be better than just OK.  Inside the realm of communication, I need someone who can stand up to me, look me in the eyes, and not be afraid to tell me if I’m doing something wrong.  Not because of who I am, but because of who they are.  Relationship without confrontation (please note the law of kindness above) seems awfully boring to me.  Honestly, I could use a little refining.  I have a great gift for sticking my foot in my mouth.  I can be choleric and direct to a fault.  I need someone who can kick me underneath the table or put a death grip squeeze on my hand.  I’ll appreciate it, I promise.

In reality, this is a difficult thing to desire.  From what I can tell, it’s difficult for a husband to submit to the instruction of his wife (instant candidate for understatement of the year, I know).  So pray for me, please?

Yet I see it as necessary.  Imagine being stuck married to someone who was always a pushover, who never stood up for what they wanted, who never shared vital information to keep you from embarrassing yourself or doing something wrong.  Like they were just along for the ride, but not a participant.  Doesn’t sound like fun to me.  Finding someone who can “ennoble and refine me, and make me happy in her love” sounds like a pretty awesome person to spend a lot of time with.